1…2…3 … … 10
I held my breath and counted again
From 10
Then
All the way back to one
And it was done
Naomi was dead
Thank God
She’d drawn her last breath
And I
Drew in a big sigh
And I
Let it go … real slow
In a gentle stream of mellow
Memories of Naomi
Naomi was the mother of an acquaintance
She had cancer and needed some assistance
Getting to and from medical appointments
With laundry and daily nourishment
I was chilling with a friend in New York
I’m retired and not looking for work
But something about Naomi’s plight
Touched my heart
And I knew it would be right
To take part
In the life and death fight
She was in
Somehow knowing
It was a battle she wouldn’t win
Somehow knowing
It was for this reason
I had gone to New York
For a season
Naomi was a big ole woman
Two or three of me
And by the time
I came to her side
She
Was already weakly
She moved slowly and leaned heavily
On me
Butt she
Stood proud with her cane
So the casual observer
Could not see her pain
Butt there was nothing casual
About the agony
That crossed her face
When it was just Naomi
And me
And
I’ll never forget her fleeting
Look of silent grieving when
The doctor said there was no need in
Scheduling another meeting
For more radiation
Since it wasn’t working
There was no justification
For me to be dragging
“Poor Naomi” out in
The bitter cold
No more could be done
It was time to go
Home
All the way
Home
When the doctors give up
There’s nothing to do
Butt prepare for the end
And hope it comes soon
Soon, soon
Soon come, Death
Let Naomi draw her last breath!
Butt Naomi’s soon was not soon enough
She prayed and prayed to the heavens above
To relieve her of her misery
To set her free
To let her go
Home
To her Lord and Savior
Or the great unknown
In the end
In pain full-blown
She didn’t know
She was blaspheming God
Through her tears of woe
Or she didn’t care anymore
To ponder
Anymore
If there really was a realm beyond the
One
She found herself in
In pain
Pain so severe
It was hardly touched
By the straight morphine
I measured and pumped
Straight into her veins
A pain
So brutal that
Were she a beloved pet
She’d be put down
By the local vet
Butt in a twist of fate profane
It was somehow deemed inhumane
For anyone to do anything
In her life to shorten it
Despite Naomi’s hurting it
Was no help from Kevorkian
It was no more hope in sight
In fact, all she had left
As she sat day and night
At 90-degree angle right
Cause it hurt way too much to
Even lie
Down
Was a will to die
Right now!
And when I went to my bed at night
Baby monitor by my side
Naomi’s mantra was my lullaby –
“I wanna die, I wanna die
I wanna die, I wanna die!”
Butt it was on the day Naomi drew her last breath in
That I got my own glimpse of God’s great planning:
Naomi’s daughter and I were standing
At the foot of Naomi’s bed
Just talking
Quietly about nothing
Everything had been said
When Naomi drew a great
Breath in
And held it in
Maybe six or seven
Counts
Then with a whooshing sound
She let it all out
Then …
Nothing
For about 27
Heartbeats I counted then
To my surprise I shouted
“Aw, Hell no!” and
Naomi opened her eyes and
Breathed again
Out – In – Out – In
Naomi’s daughter couldn’t bear any more
She ran up to her room and closed the door
And as Naomi continued breathing
I stopped to wonder how I was feeling
Cause I had stopped Naomi from leaving
Her misery and
Something welled up inside me
And let me know it was right
To call Naomi back into this life
Somehow my spirit recognized
In that miniscule instant in time
It was for that very reason
God had put me in the middle of Bed-Stuy
It was a “calling”
For me to be there to deny
Hell for Naomi
See:
Sister Naomi’s faith had wavered
As the ravenous stomach cancer ate her
And the constant pain maimed and raped her
Of her senses
Leaving her defenseless
And Faith-bare
Ranting at her Creator
Who was taking his sweet old time
Taking her out of this life time
Naomi’s faith “all” butt lost
She’d invited Death at any cost
But through me – God
Would not be – Robbed
Of His victory
For reasons unseen to me
In fulfillment of a plan I did not conceive
There I stood in the breach
To speak
A Word of God against
An unholy host
When that beaten-down woman of God
Needed it most
Soon come
Yes come
Soon come, Death!
Let Naomi draw her last breath
Butt Hell?
No!
No Hell for Naomi!
I don’t know what came over me
Butt I know I do believe
“All things work together for the good
Of those who love the Lord
And
Are called according to His purpose”
This is a two-part promise
I know this
And God calls on His faithful for assistance
And I am His
And we speak spiritual things into existence
We will this
In a place where the Spirit
Meets you and I
The Trine
So says the word of my tradition
And so it was with this conviction
I went to my rooms to finish my mission
I laid on my bed and closed my eyes
Baby monitor by my side
And counted Naomi’s ragged sighs
In – Out – In – Out …
For two whole hours
I lay there and counted
On the Saints of Heaven
To come marching in
In God’s time
In Good time
And as I lie there in my bed
Quietly counting in my head
Up to 10 and back again
Silently waiting for the end
I contemplated what it is
About how we live
That makes our lives worth living:
Is it to personify Christ’s giving
Of Himself and His life in sacrifice
Under God’s watchful eyes?
It is said that the servant
Who washes the feet
Or changes the diaper
And folds the sheets
Is greater in God’s eyes
Than the mightiest of kings
And as I lay counting
I realized
My being has meaning
And I’m storing
Up treasures for my self in serving
God through Naomi and my fellow man
Building a treasure more precious than
Millions stacked in bags
And I was glad that
I had chased that
Allowed God’s grace to be
Worked through Naomi
And me
And me?
I had the honor of pronouncing Naomi dead
And I gave the official time for the certificate
Butt between you and me
I added a minute
Just to make sure
God was finished
With Naomi and me
And to commemorate
That space
In time
When Naomi, God and I
Formed a Trine
In an agreement of Faith to conquer Hell
As it is said:
Hell itself
Can not overcome
When two or three in faith
Are joined as One
And it should be no great mystery
Even though she no longer breathes
Naomi still lives inside of me
In my memory
And way of being
My way of seeing
Life
And dealing with strife
And hardships and glory
Luxuries and worry
Loving and hating
My dealing with you and me
And my God
It’s odd
Butt as I plod through life’s many tests
I heed lessons learned in each experience
And I smile daily in remembrance
Of the power God showered
In Naomi’s hour of Death
And I know until I find my final rest
I’ll forever inhale
Naomi’s last breath
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